"this is my favorite pen. try it."
"...ohhh, that's nice"
"right? i love the way it feels."
"i feel like i just cheated on my sharpies"
"best i've ever had"
---
"any dressing?"
"honey dijon, please."
"you don't need any more honey"
"i'm sorry?"
"you're so sweet already"
---
"sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing"
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"there's a skinny girl inside me dying to get out but i can usually shut her up with a box of cookies"
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"what a marshmallow"
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"why are asian girls so beautiful? you're perfect from head to toe"
[later, to nancy]
"i'm going to marry your girlfriend. probably not tonight, but in the future"
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"k, don't talk, right."
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"the human heard is an idol factory"
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"she smells nice...how can you resist that?"
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"people grow out of trees and have superpowers in another world"
"these good fairies are getting all of the good shit. something bad has to happen to them."
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"i love pot because i love being scared and hungry at the same time"
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"i think cake was invented as a way to eat frosting without looking like a pig"
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[metaphor for delivery vs. digiorno]
"your baby is dead but then you found it in the gutter, ALIVE."
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"i get so stupid when i get hungry"
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